Right. Until her picks for dinner spots were “too lavish.” One night, he asked about her salary — then everything changed. “He couldn’t look past the fact that I made more money,” says Lauren. “He even told me I was overpaid.” He confessed that he felt emasculated by her career, and later, while she was on a work trip, he cheated on her.
Among the straight, ambitious, and unattached, Lauren’s story is familiar. More women than men now graduate college. Nearly half the U.S. workforce is female and 40 percent of those women are their family’s breadwinners. But as they strive for success, they’re hitting a snag. They can’t find a guy who’s comfortable with all that awesomeness.
Multiple studies show that, when asked, men say they prefer dating ambitious go-getters. But the reality proves otherwise. As a result, many women are playing down their drive — at work or on dates — to make themselves seem like “relationship material.”
When single female students were told their answers would be shared with male peers, they acted less ambitious and leadership-oriented — claiming a desire for smaller paychecks, fewer travel days, and fewer working hours, according to the National Bureau of Economic Research. Meanwhile, their partnered female classmates didn’t waver.
In a related study, when single female students were placed in groups with other women, they admitted wanting high-paying, high-powered jobs. But in groups with single men, these women were more likely to say they wanted a family-friendly job: lower-paying but more flexible.
So, what: You have to choose between your goals and a BF? Not on our watch. Although guys’ attraction to girl power is more layered than you think, it is possible to find a partner who will support you. As soon as you understand what’s going on…